Ep. 46 I'm Good, I've Got This
Happy #SeekTheJoy Tuesday!
This week is a SOLO episode and I'm chatting all about showing up and transparency.
In order to talk about showing up though, I have to talk about transparency first.
I don't always have it together.
I don't always know what I'm doing.
I'm not always confidently in the drivers seat.
I know that probably doesn't seem like a big deal to admit, but for me - it's huge. I've spent my whole life trying to make it seem like everything is good, that I've got this, that I don't need help, that I know what I'm doing, etc.
Last week I got a DM on Instagram from someone who has been such a great friend to the podcast from the very beginning. She's probably one of the first people who I connected to when I made the Instagram account for the podcast. Anyways, she sent me a message last week that she had a crazy dream about me and the podcast. She's building and developing her brand and in her dream her website was seekthejoy.com. Halfway through her dream she realized that was me and my thing.
This dream brought up that inner critic in her head that basically says "it's so easy for everyone but me."
Oh man, can I resonate with this.
When I'm having a bad day(s) one of my first thoughts is - "ugh, it's so easy for everyone but me! Why is x, y, z so easy for everyone else!?"
Why do we think this way?
Is it because of social media and the facade and story we put out there.
I realized pretty quickly I'm part of the problem too. If you look at my social media channels, if you look at my website, if you look at the fact that I put out a new episode every single week, I probably give off the impression that I've got it all together. I probably give off the impression that this is easy for me, that it's streamlined and flawlessly done. That I don't struggle and that I have it all together. Unless you're really close to me, you know it's completely the opposite.
So it's important for me to be transparent, and be real when I say it's not, and that I don't have it all together.
How do we strike a balance between putting our authentic voice out there and at the same time having it be true to who we are and how we ant it to look like etc.? How do lift the veil, and balance that against being honest and truthful and forthcoming about what it's really like?
It's easy to look at someone on TV, in a movie, or on a podcast, or on social media in general and say "ugh their life just looks so perfect!" or "it looks like it comes so easy to them or natural to them and they don't have to work hard for what they have." etc. etc. etc.
Honestly I am faking it til I make it, and I don't know if that's a good motto to have or not, but it's my truth.
This then got me thinking - why do I want to make it look like I have it all together? That meant I did a little digging, and a little reflection, and honestly - I think there's a little bit of underlying shame. What will someone else think of me if I need help? What will they think of me if I ask for help? What will they think of me when I say that I don't have it all together?
What I worry that someone else will think of me, is really what I worry I will think about myself.
When you think you're protecting yourself against someone else's judgment, you're really protecting yourself against your own judgment.
Whoa . . . lightbulb moment right here.
Anyone that judges you by where you're at and what you're doing is really reflecting their own judgment of themselves onto you. So then by extension the judgment that you are fearing that you will receive from someone else is really a reflection of the judgment that you are holding against yourself.
When you're having a hard time, and you're looking at someone else, and you're thinking that it's flawless and beautiful and its all come easy to them - look at where you're at and how much you're putting into your dream. Look at where you're at and how much work you're putting into manifesting the reality that you want for yourself, because it's the same for them too.
A lot of things don't come easy, and that's okay - they're not supposed to. Because as you're working towards your goals and dreams, you're shaping and molding yourself into becoming the person that you are meant to be and supposed to be, at the moment that those dreams and realities actualize.
Be kind with yourself, be patient with yourself, choose to be transparent in your life and who you are and be authentic within it along the way. Honestly above all else, continue to show up - even when it's hard and the last thing that you want to do. Show up anyway. The act of showing up for you and your life, is so powerful and it speaks volumes.
Show up, be authentic, be you and fight for what it is that you want your life to look like. At the same time, cut yourself a little slack! We're all just doing the best that we can. We're figuring it out as we go, and everything shows up when it's supposed to.
Did you hear? We launched #SeekTheJoy merch! (cue internal screaming!!!) Yup, Seek The Joy bracelets are here and I am SO EXCITED. Check them out here - I can't wait to see you guys rockin your bracelet!
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The ninth episode in our series, The Power of Storytelling, airs on September 18th! We want you to be part of it! To learn more and to submit your story, visit the Share Your Story section of our website. Fill out our interest form - and we'll get back to you ASAP.