Two weeks ago tomorrow I found out I passed the California Bar Exam (!!!)
Next Wednesday, I'll be sworn in as a member of The State Bar of California.
To say that I'm overwhelmed . . . is an understatement.
I share my journey over the last year and a half on today's episode.
This was an exciting but also very emotional episode for me to record.
I think it's safe to say that the second time’s my charm ✨✨
What a year it’s been.
I wore my mind and body out last year. From shingles to appendicitis, my body had been through it.
When I didn’t pass the first time, after going back and forth at least a dozen times, I decided not to sit for February’s exam. This wasn't an easy choice for me to make - truthfully, the new grading system scared me . . . an exam with the MBE weighed the same as the essays did not sound all too exciting to me. Mainly because I've never been great at standardized testing - my writing has always been my strong suit.
But, if there's anything I've learned over the last year it's that when my body and mind aren't up to the task, I need to listen to my body and rest so that I'm 100% ready to tackle what I need to tackle when the time comes.
I spent the next 6 months physically and emotionally preparing to give the bar my best shot.
Next thing I know, it’s May.
A week before studying starts, there’s an electrical fire in my building and we’re not allowed to come back.
So, I slept on my parent’s couch for 10 weeks while I studied and worked.
I was grateful to have somewhere to stay and somewhere to sleep - and I proved to myself that I could not only sleep anywhere, but that I could adapt to situations and changes that maybe before I thought I couldn't handle.
Mid-June, I developed a new allergy to avocado... (please keep all guac away from me 😭)
My throat swelled, I couldn't breathe - thank god I've had more than one terrifying experience with allergies to know what to do (shout out to benadryl for always saving the day).
I created a new routine that forced me to study outside my *always* rigid comfort zone . . .
I studied at my mom's office when she wasn't at work and at my grandma's apartment when she wasn't home. I didn't have the safety of my apartment - and what a blessing that was.
I succeeded at creating balance - more than I have in my entire life. I think there were only 5 days in 3 months that I didn't take an hour long walk.
About two weeks before the exam I had a dream where I was visited by Indie, a yellow labrador that I grew up with. He was my aunt and uncle's dog and we always had a strong connection. In the dream he was laying down next to me and we were just hanging out, running around, kind of like what we used to do when I'd go to my aunt's house. I could see his tail wagging - and I knew he was guiding me and showing me that everything was going to be okay. I woke up that morning feeling touched and calm.
I took a trip up to Sacramento for the exam, and the view from my room had a movie theater with the sign “Esquire” . . . this blew me away. Now, I know it was a sign.
Day 1 of the exam - I had an adrenaline surge and overheated during the exam. This was so painful - I could barely think at one point because I was SO hot. I kept getting up to go to the water station to pour water over my head (we're not allowed to have food or water at our table). But, that wasn’t going to stop me.
Day 2 I was basically a furnace - but I was not going to throw away my shot (if you know me, you know - HAMILTON!)
Two days. Done.
I have a new mindset, a more positive outlook - that positive self-talk game is stronger than ever.
I have me to thank for that.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, November 17th. I stayed SO calm that day (like scary calm) - knowing that no matter what I am ME - and I’m going to be okay. More than okay actually. Because I know I did my best - and that's all I can ask of me.
I logged on to the portal ... and for 5 minutes it's down.
Finally, I search for my ID # and what do I see?
This name appears on the pass list (🙌🏻)
Next week, I will have the honor of being sworn in to the California State Bar. A dream I’ve had since I was 12.
There aren’t enough words to describe what I've been feeling.
Thank you - to my parents, sisters, friends, family, extended support system that kept me afloat this past year and every year, the universe, my teachers - both in school and in life - and a special thank you to this life, and all of the opportunities it has given me.
A new adventure.
I’m so ready.
Look out, because here I come ✨✨
As always you can find us on Instagram @seekthejoypod_